Monday, June 19, 2006


Or is it?
There is this scene in a Woody Allen movie, where the main character-woman- comes back to her apartment after being out to see a "friend". She is confronted by her "boyfriend", an older man, played by Max Von Sydow (If that is how its is spelled) He looks at her and deduces that she has been kissed because her lips are red and she is nervous and on and on.
Then he breaks down and says, "I should have married you many years ago when you wanted to" or something along those lines. Because he knew it was inevitable that he was going to lose her.
Which brings me back to my case.
I think my girlfriend is finding out that she has a lot more in common with old friends and acquaintances than we do together. Yes we are great with our kids and enjoy each other immensely. However, my feeling is that it is dawning on her that we are not getting any "younger" but perhaps more mature in all senses of the word. The sticking point in our relationship is the marriage issue.
I do not want to get married and she does. Until we resolve this issue I don't think either of us is going to have peace of mind.
Does the fact that she is 26 and I am 41 matter? Clearly it is beginning to show. I am seeing some signs or changes in her demeanor. I do not believe that she is cheating on me, but I think she is considering her options (Not whether she cheats on me or not) but on whether it is worth staying together and what is good in her own life and for her own future.


Yamell said...

Not knowing what's going to happen and feeling insecure in a relationship aren't good things for a woman. Most of us and by us I mean women feel that we can change a man and his thoughts/opinions. I'm sure everything will work itself out with time and that no one gets hurt.

yana said...

hellosss!! i don't mean to be rude...but why do you need to get married? what's wrong with staying with someone you're obviously crazy about?? i've never understood that whole "we need to tie the knot in order to comfirm our love for each other". how is getting married gonna solve things or make things any better??? i'm sorry...i'm not attacking your g/f or anything...i just disagree with that issue. for me...i would try and get peace of mind by telling her that i wanna be her in the here & now...i love her...and isn't that what matters the most?! and as for her feeling insecure in the r/s (i'm sorry) then, that's a sign that maybe she's not meant to be in this one ;(. i'd want her to be happy, if she was mine...and even if that means she'll be happy with someone else. maybe that would peace of mind for the both of you? ok, that's all i wanted to say. i'm sorry if i have offended you with my brutal honesty:D. you can just ignore my measly two cents worth :D

ps- thanks for dropping by my crazy place too!

Chloe said...

i hope you'll find a way Cisco, because you obviously care for this woman a lot.
My view on this is: as Yanas says, marriage is just a paper. But that works both ways. If you want to do it, you go ahead, after all, it's just a paper. And if you don't, then it's just a paper and you don't.
We sometimes attach meaning to papers. Papers sometimes translate as 'you love me' 'you don't love me'. There is nothing wrong with at. All our life is burdened with symbolism after all.

CiscoKid said...

It's goo to hear from women.. Now of course there is the other side, hers....

I will attach a link to her blogg sometime

The artist formerly known as the Bulb. said...

You're girlfriend is 15 years younger??? You my hero man!