ENGLISH/SPANISH TRAVELING LESSONS

I got this from one of my links below. As her own post indicates it is somewhat crass and rude. Funny though.

The First part is for those who speak Spanish and would like to "speak" Slang/English.
The Second part is for those who speak English and would like to communicate in "Mexican-Spanish"

Clases de Inglés. Spanish Classes

Some one sent me this email with this Spanish/English lessons. Very very funny stuff.... Be careful, it is somewhat rude...

CURSO DE ESPAÑOL /INGLÉS Y DE INGLÉS /ESPAÑOL

1.Si quiere una COCA COLA diga GUIMI A COUC.
2.Si quiere un cafe y una dona diga COFIANDONA.
3.Si quiere unos huevos con jamón diga YAMANEGS.
4.Si se agarra un dedo con la puerta del Taxi diga FOC.
5. Si algo le parece muy costoso diga FOC.
6. Si se cae en el metro diga FOC.
7. Si lo asaltan en el Bronx diga FOC.
8. Si se encuentra con una mujer de esas de película diga UANA FOC !.
9. Si alguien le grita algo que contenga FOC responda FOQUIU TU.
10.Si pierde el pasaporte, detenga un policia y diga AI LOST MAI FOQUIN PEIPERS.
11.Si se pierde en la ciudad, grite AI AM FOQUIN LOST.
12.Cuando se refiera a un tercero diga DE FOQUIN GAI OVER-DER.
13.Si quiere acostarse con una morenaza dígale AI UANA FOC UIZ YU.
14.Si quiere acostarse con una rubia dígale JALOU, CAN AI FOQUIU?.
15.Si no sabe donde tomar un Taxi diga JAO TU GET A FOQUIN CAB?.
16.Si esta muy enojado NO diga REFOC, solo diga FOC varias veces(FOC, FOC, FOC,...)
17.Si le quieren tomar el pelo pregunte AR YU FOQUIN MI?.
18.Y si estas instrucciones no le sirven de mucho...." Uat da foc YU uant?"

SPANISH FOR GRINGOS (Para que los Gringos aprendan castellano)…
There's always something to learn or to try, many times you need to say some phrase in Spanish, but you don't know how to say it, don't worry, your problems have finished, if your are a gringo and you don't know speak
We took from it some common phrases, just try and you're gonna see the difference and how easy is to speak Spanish.
(Léanlo en voz alta en inglés, está genial!)
1.Boy as n r = Voy a cenar = I'm gonna have a dinner
2.N L C John = en el sillón = on the armchair
3.Be a hope and son = Viejo panzón = fat old man
4.Who and see to seek ago = Juancito se cagó = Little John is a chickenshit.
5.S toy tree stone = estoy tristón = I'm kind a sad.
6.Lost trap eat toss = los trapitos = the little rag.
7. Desk can saw = descanso = (you) rest.
8. As say toon as = aceitunas = olives.
9. The head the star mall less stan dough = deje de estar molestando = stop bugging me.
10.See eye = si hay = yes we have
11. T n s free o ? = tienes frío = are you cold?
12. T N S L P P B N T S O = Tienes el pipi bien tieso = you have an erection.
13. Tell o boy ah in cruise tar = Te lo voy a incrustar = I'm going to insert it in you

WEBLOG AWARDS

This is actually a great link not just to vote for your favorite blogs, but also to check out some really good blogs. You might actually find some that you read on a regular basis. I did, Post Secret, Wonkette, Waiter Rant, etc.
Most other countries where bloging seems to be taken seriuosly, have these type of awards. They actually have "conferences" on bloging or bloger "get togethers".
Enjoy the list.

LOST IN DEATH VALLEY

I owe you this story from last year.
This happened on our way back home from San Francisco after Thanksgiving.
Melissa , Anthony and I left Yosemite park that morning after breakfast. We drove up and over the pass towards Bishop.
Bishop is this small town where you can stay if you cannot afford the rooms at Mammoth. From there we were supposed to go down towards Palmdale and eventually into Barstow on our way home.
However, I decided that it was still early and we could take the "long" road through Death Valley, which we had done before.(Here's the Map) So we veered off East into the dessert. Not far from where we turned, we came into another road. The road on the left would take us into Beatty, NV. The one on the right said, "Death Valley". That should have been a "sign" (It was a sign and it also said- Unpaved Road)As far as I could see, the road had plenty of pavement on it. SO we decided to take that road. I know what you're thinking. "BAD MOVE"
So it was.

The road was paved for a good 15 to 20 miles into the Hills as we were cruising at a decent speed-20-30 mph.
All of a sudden as we were climbing, the road ended. The paved road that is,
now it was just a dirt road in the dessert. We stayed on this road for a good half hour until we happened to hit another stretch of paved road.
I thought our luck was changing when we hit another sign that said. North Entrance to Death Valley National Park and another that pointed south and said. "Sand Dunes" Not wanting to go to the Sand Dunes, even though Melissa suggested we go that way, I proceeded to go the opposite way which was paved but just for another couple of miles.
That was the last stretch of pavement I saw for a few hours.
The fact that we did not see other cars or people, or even buzzards in the sky, should have told me I was heading into the wrong way.
We kept climbing up and over hills. At times there was only space for one vehicle, luckily there were no large vehicles in sight. Eventually we spotted two trucks. One with a camper on it and another was one of those small conversion van type.
It helps when you get to the top of a hill or mountain, because it shows you very clearly that you are indeed lost, when all you see is more rocks, gravel and not a paved road in sight, but rather more of the same.
The picture shows a road traveling from left to right (N to S) The road we were on, eventually took us into that road. Again, more unpaved road. At this point, Anthony had fallen asleep and Melissa and I kept on chugging along "enjoying" the scenery while listening to The Beatles.
An hour later we were still on that road and still no side of anything. Bad thoughts began to creep into our minds.
My car is well kept, I had just gotten new tires the week before, so there was no danger of anything, like a busted tire. I also always have a spare in the trunk an I am able to change them. The bad thought was about something wrong happening to the engine or a broken axle, since the road was so rough.

At some other point we were speculating about murderers or such here in the middle of nowhere and without cell phone reception or anything like that.
Right after the conversation about "the murderer", as we were coming up over a small hill and on our way down, what do we see if not "something" that looks like a person ahead in the distance coming up in our direction.
My heart jumped when the adrenaline began to pump.
In the middle of nowhere and here was this person headed towards us. My first thought was, "I can run him over" or something like that. As we got closer to each other, I noticed that it was a female jogger.
This was perhaps a sign that civilization was near, or the sign of a crazy woman.
not ten minutes passed when we got to the end of that road. Finally a paved road and one that would get us home.
Not before passing by places like this.

JUSTICE!

Since I am an avid reader, I decided to take this quiz. Now, I have never heard ofthis book but I might pick it up just to see.....
I wonder who comes up with all these little quizes that tell you what kind of muffin, smurf, tree, animal or rock you are, simply by answering a few silly questions?

You're A Theory of Justice!

by John Rawls

In the beginning, you lived in a town. The town had many problems!
Rather than moving, you decided to come up with the idea for the best town ever. Going
all the way back to the original position, you created the idea for the best town ever!
Lo and behold, the best town ever looked almost identical to the town you lived in. You
decided to stay in the town. Now you resent people mistaking your refined thought
experiments for "the wall of stupidity" in high school debate
rounds.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

NEWS

The snow never materialized but it was very cold for a good two weeks straight. Winter weather is coming back to normal here in Vegas.
More news.
My mom went back to Mexico last week. It was good having her visit since this was the longest she's been out of Mexico. At least she's back to her own home and her own things. Unfortunately, my little brother, who lives with her, made a mess of things while she was here. I'm sure she'll take care of him.
Everyone knows that no matter where you go or how comfortable and pampered you are, you can't wait to get home to your own things. I noticed she was getting anxious to leave. She was at my brother's throughout her stay and she was getting annoyed at some of the happenings there (Mother in Law-Daughter in Law issues). Then again, if she had stayed with me, she would have found something to have an opinion about.
She says she'll come back. Probably to visit for a week or two, rather than the six months that she was here. I'll be looking forward to her coming back maybe this time she'll stay with us.
Anthony will be turning 8 Next week.
Olivia and Melissa are going to see High School Musical.
and me?.
Work, work and work.

SNOW IN LAS VEGAS

So everyone in town is looking forward to snow in the valley.
Weather warnings were issued from 2:00PM through 10:00PM tonight because of snow. Of course its a lot colder than usual, probably the coldest all year. However, I don't think that snow is going to materialize. Maybe a little bit in the surrounding high areas. (Forecasters spoke of 2-3 inches in the valley-That means; Snow on The Strip.) If it does, the kids will be happy and I will be posting pictures...

This was my yard back in 2003 when we got a good snow storm overnight...
'Till then.

20,000 BUSH'S MAGIC NUMBER

So, Bush is going to announce that he needs 20,000 more troops to go to Iraq and finally "suppress" the insurgency and lend support to the Iraqi government in their efforts to put down the "insurgency."
He is also going to ask for more funds to spend on infrastructure to create more jobs for Iraqis, thus reducing the number or those joining the insurgents.

Isn't this what should have happened the moment we went into Iraq?.
Why 3 years later with "more of the same" attitudes. "throw more soldiers and money into the problem and that should take care of it".
It's too bad that The president still does not have a realistic plan for Iraq. I don't think anybody has a real idea as to what to do with the War there. I am aware that we cannot just pull all our troops out of there all at once, but to continue on the same path is to continue with the same problems.
Why are we not pursuing or pressuring other Mid-East neighboring countries to help find a solution?
Inevitably I believe, that is what is going to happen. It is a regional problem that involves all surrounding countries. The Saudis have already experienced terrorist attacks, Lebanon is a shaky "democracy", Egypt has also had acts of terrorism on its soil. So if they want to stop them from happening as much as we in the U.S. do, then they need to be involved in the solution to bring an end to the conflict, not just in Iraq, but all throughout the region.

My own humble opinion.

WINDY NIGHT

It's two in the morning and bad dreams have startled me out of bed. Outside the wind howls as it tries to rip the tiles of the roof. At least it sounds that way. A light rain makes everything glitter as if all the stars had fallen from the sky.
It's two in the morning and everyone sleeps peacefully in spite of the angry wind.
Bad dreams have woken me up and tossed me into the night. There is no one outside but shadows and flickering lights.
It's later in the morning and time to wake up.

2007

Already January 2.
College Football is over, aside from the National Championship game coming up, Christmas is over, Garbage truck picked up all the empty boxes and torn up wrapping paper. Recycling bins are full of empty bottles from the New Year's bash. All gifts put away and things seem to be back to normal.
People have gone home, people are returning.
Parking lots at the airport are clearing and now the lots will sit empty for another whole year.
Now what!
A new Year, a blank slate, a new sheet of paper.
We get older, kids get and grow much faster and older.
Do you have a list?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope you have some bubbly beverage.
Apple cider should be OK for the kids.
Andre (Yuk!), Cooks (No way), Anything else but those two is good to celebrate this new year's eve.
My Favorite List

J- Jordan
Schramsberg
Iron Horse
Louis Roederer-California (Not the French stuff) Too expensive and over rated.
Perrier Jouet- Fleur du Champagne. Not bad if you can find it cheap.
Krug if you have plenty of money
Billecart De Salmon-"Pink" champagne. worth a "C" note.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you. May all your dreams and wishes coem true or at least somehow you get a glimpse of them.

Paz en el mundo tambien.

TRADE IN!

The following is an estimate that Olympuswants to give me for my digital camera. The deal is; you buy a new camera and send your old camera with the receipt and Bam! they send you a "rebate check". I know my camera has seen better days and with its (now) low 3.5 megapixels it still takes great pictures as you can see on previous posts or on my flickr account.



No, I am not trading. I might get more if I pawn it (which I will also not do).

Trade-In Estimate
Point & Shoot Olympus 3.0 to 3.9 Megapixel
CAMERA CONDITION: WORKING BUT WITH SCRATCHES OR DENTS
OPTICAL ZOOM OR DIGITAL ZOOM: 3X Optical
CAMERA FOCUS TYPE: AUTO FOCUS
EXTERNAL MEDIA INCLUDED WITH CAMERA: No External Memory Card
FLASH: BUILT-IN FLASH
LCD DISPLAY BUILT IN: YES
ORIGINAL SOFTWARE INCLUDED: NO
BATTERY TYPE REQUIRED: Uses Standard AA or AAA Alakline Battery(s) - Not included
AC ADAPTER / CHARGER: NOT INCLUDED
INSTRUCTIONS / OWNERS MANUAL: NOT INCLUDED
ORIGINAL CABLES AND/OR DOCK: SOME OF THE ORIGINAL CABLES ARE INCLUDED (not ALL)
PC CONNECTIVITY: USB and/or FIREWIRE
BLUETOOTH CAPABLE: NO
EXTERNAL TELEPHOTO CONVERTERS / LENSES: NONE
Estimated Trade-in Value:
(includes a Prepaid shipping label) $3.72
+$20.00 Bonus Cash
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
$23.72 Total Trade-in Estimate

TO BLOGG OR NOT TO BLOGG

Over the last year of blogging, I have seen blogs disappear and some that write about stopping just to come back a few weeks or months later.
I think the reason given is usually lack of time.
Of course a blog should probably be the last priority when it comes to family, work and other social activities that prohibit you from writing. So why do people blog?. A recent survey found that the majority of people blog "for Themselves" as a record or story of their own personal lives. There are other more specific blogs that deal with a particular subject such as; politics, national news or current events. there are others that are about cooking, religious, or other etc, etc.
Mine falls under the average category. I see it more as a "picture" of my state of mind at any given point in time. I cover just about anything that happens around me as well as my family, as long as it is not too revealing. There are a lot of things that the Internet should not know and does not need to know about me.
Readership is also a funny subject. I can count on one hand the people that visit my blog. They may not necessarily comment on every post but sometimes they leave a note. (Thank you)
Some other times there are no comments. It does not bother me and as long as this interesting tool that Blogger provides free of charge, I will continue using it for my own entertainment purposes. Though I am thinking of getting an account with Wordpress and start a new blog with a "single" particular subject.
Any thoughts?

NY PICTURES

I said I was going to post pictures and here they are. It's been a good two days here. Traveling like any Ney Yorker through the "train" or subway has been fun. It reminds me of my childoohd in Mexico where to get just about anywhere, all you needed was a ticket in. Not about the same but similar. I have decided against using my Ipod to shut the noise out. It is "soothing" to hear thousands of feet as they shuffle along moving through the tunnels, or the NY noise of cars stuck in traffic or sirens blaring in the middle of the night. I couldn't do this everyday, su to me it's a novelty which will eventually wear off. Now it's off to work, but first I gotta grab a cup of coffee.
Here are the pictures.

ANOTHER TRIP - NEW YORK

I got to New York City this morning and it isn't as cold as I though it would be. This is a solo trip (work related) so it isn't much fun without company. Lasttime I was here, was with melissa for Valentine's. That was a really good trip. Next time she'll have to come along.
I have walked through the southern part of Manhattan throughout the day. I have also taken quite a few pictures which I will post as soon as I get a chance. The streets are full of Christmas shoppers. The Soho area was a zoo of people walking all over the place. I guess for lack of a traditional mall, like those on the west coast, you go to Soho. I got a couple of more days here, though the next two will be mostly about work. 'till then..

HOLIDAY TRIP

Once we left the town of Hanford, we headed towards the I-5 which takes you North towards San Francisco or south to Los Angeles. It was tempting to head south and just go hang out in Old Town Pasadena, but we had already commited to the family get together in San Francisco. The road continues East from Hanford, first through a small stretch of freeway then to a two lane road along cotton fields, acres and acres of fruit trees, all lined up in perfect sequence and at times, nothing but empty fields. Harvest season had just passed so there were quite a few acres of nothing but dirt. At other times there were huge rectangular mounds of cotton ready to be loaded onto trucks.
Once we got onto the I-5 it was a straight drive. There were a lot of cars on the road so the speed at times was slow. a couple of hours later we veered East to drive into Gilroy, Garlic capital of the world. It is a quick drive over the hills, with a view of large lake/reservoir and typical California landscape, bare hills with patches of trees here and there. We drove into Gilroy without much traffic and from there to San Jose and then Redwood city. When we arrived at Bill and Debbie's, they were cooking already so we dipped into the finger goods while we watched the required football game. I believe the Dolphins were beating some other team. The night progressed with good food, conversation, pomegranate martinis, wine and later in the night a good game of Texas Hold'em. The following day turned out to be a "trip into the city" for Melissa Anthony and me. Aside form the crowd at the mall and the half hour drive into "the parking lot", it was a good outing. We met everyone else at the movie theater where we saw, Happy Feet. I guess I could have taken a nap but I was waiting for something quite exciting to happen in the movie. A disapointing movie.
The next morning we hit the road to head back to Las Vegas. However, this was not going to be an easy drive. I had asked Melissa if she wanted to drive through Yosemite park since she had never been there. She is always up for an adventure so she said yes and off we went.
Cold In Yosemite, Lost on the dessert and a drive in the darkness to get home.
That will be for the next post.

MADAGASCAR DREAM

So, I had this dream that my brother and I were in the island of Madagascar to take a class, once a week and for an hour. When we got there, we went to the classrooms (2001 and 1010) we thought we were supposed to be in and the professor asked us to go to administration and find out where exactly we were supposed to be. He spoke in some strange language and we could not understand a word he was saying so, some of our classmates offered to take us. When we got there, the "officer" explained to us, that we needed to show our receipt along with our class schedule (which somehow had been left at home--Mexico?, US?) and without those receipts or other documents, he could not give us our class schedule. In my dream, I wondered how it was that we were supposed to live while attending class for one hour and once a week in somewhere so far off. i figured that since we were there specifically for "school", that everything else would fit into place. To get off the Island to go back and retrieve our documents, this is what we had to do. There was a very shallow part of the ocean where people were walking on to get to the mainland. So, we just followed the same path, water was dirty and it was not an even bottom, it had lots of big rocks or boulders. I was wearing a blue coat with lots of buttons down the center and white pants.
When we went over the water and ended up on a busy street with lots of people waiting for a bus. At this point, we ran into a friend form our childhood, who was wearing some old and raggedy clothes. He looked happy.
Later, I found myself in a hotel/resort-Still in Madagascar with some strangers. We were waiting for a cab to get us to the airport, where I ended up cutting off everyone while driving the cab, exited the cab, got my bags and apologized to everyone for cutting them off.

and you- What did you dream about?

UCLA WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is official.
The 7 year itch is Over!
UCLA beat USC-- by 4 points. A win is a win and the spell has been broken. The bell goes back to Westwood and hopefully a sign of things to come. USC in the meantime will have to wait to see where it is going to play. A lot of Trojan fans will have to cancell their tickets and resevations to AZ. Too bad. Then again, they may not have to travel at all and play in the Rose Bowl-----Again.
Fight Fight Fight

HOLIDAYS-3 STORIES IN ONE

Yes, it is that time of the year.
I spent thanksgiving at Bill and Debbie's in San Francisco with family and friends. It had been a few years since I had been up there because of work but, it is time to continue with the tradition.
FIRST STORY - DRIVE UP.
Not a bad drive from Vegas, but it is a bit boring when you go from Vegas to Barstow on your way to L.A. as often as we do. Since we were going further North, we took the road that Goes from Barstow and to Bakersfield. Probably as boring if you drove it more than three times a year, but not for me. It is a road that traverses the high desert and goes over a mountain pass but, not before passing by an airplane graveyard. There is a lot of 18 wheelers on this two lane road which makes it a bit dangerous. It is not even a major road, since it curves and dips like waves. Of course you also want to fill up your tank before you venture into any of these roads. Gas prices are steep in small desolate towns. You also don't want to get into an accident-we saw a bad one on our way up there-cops, paramedics or fire trucks take a long while to get there from the closest town.
Next stretch of road is over the Tehachapi Mountains and down into Bakersfield. The town of Tehachapi is quite picturesque. It sits atop the pass of the same name. mostly farmers. There was this huge building all lit up at night. Not quite sure what it was. It looked like a huge power plant, probably the biggest structure up there. It doesn't take away from the beauty up there.
Once you get into Bakersfield, it is more of the same, particularly if you are driving on highway 99. Nothing but farmland and huge complexes that deal with anything that is is vegetable and edible and can be canned or boxed and shipped to major grocery stores.
We stayed in Hanford at a Best Western. Not a bad place except that there are a few trains going through blaring their horns "throughout" the night. The hotel just happened to be by a freeway and about half a mile from the train tracks. Next morning we drove from Hanford over to the "I-5" and up into San Jose. Passing through Gilroy and more California Landscape, quite unique I may add.

STORY 2-- LATER

FOX CORP HAS BIGGER COJONES!

OK.
I think I am overusing the word, "cojones" hopefully you know what it means and I promise it was the last time I typed or used it.
HOWEVER!!!!
Unbelievable but true. They are pulling out of the Murderer's plot. Now why is that?
Answer the following survey....

News media does have a:
a. heart.
b. fear of the American TV Viewer.
c. something else will come up where we can make a gazillion dollars from.
d. fear of the American TV Viewer.

If you picked b,c or d, you may be taking way too many on-line surveys. If you picked a.

You are wrong.