THE LOST YEARS

I am not sure that I can classify the last few years of my life as lost years.
I have accomplished several things in my professional career. At the same time, I have also made some supid decisions that have cost me plenty. However it is just money. I am healthy, have a loving daughter, have a loving woman in my life. What else could I want?...
I think I want those years back.

So I can tell her how much I loved her, so I can hold her as close to my heart as possible. Just to tell her so many thing that were left unsaid.
Our life changed a lot after our daughter was born. It seems like a given that some of the romanticism is gone or just "put aside" momentarily to give and pay attention to the new member of the family. I can understand that and I was willing to go along, however long it took, just to get back into our romantic, loving sexual life. But then she got diagnosed. So she became the priority for everyone. As well as mine, but while she was sick, we never wanted to entertain the idea that she would die. So we never spoke of the what if. By the time I faced reality it was too late. Could she hear me?
I don't know.
Could she understand my words and tears through her drug induced sleep?
Maybe.
I think that is what buggs me so much after all these years. That we did not face the reality of our future with her sickness. I think she was more aware of it that I was. Maybe it was me who didn't want to face the reality of what was happening to her, to us.
There was a day while she was at the hospital, after the bone marrow transplant. She told me how much she wanted to be with me and that my time spent with our daughter while she was ill (at the hospital), was taking away from that. I felt really bad for her and I think that is when I understood what was coming and still we did not talk about it.
I want those years back.

SUNDAY

Hello all.

Have not had a day off for about three weeks...What do you do?...Keep trucking I say. Work is busy constantly, currently looking to add staff and an assistant so I can get a day off or a couple. I still find the restaurant business exciting, of course, like anything else it has its moments where you just want to walk off, but it also has its rewards.
Daughter is good-Just waiting for Halloween. She is going to be "Catwoman". Just yesterday, she went to a kid's Halloween party that lasted "SIX HOURS" She came back cackling like a witch in a witch's outfit-hat, broom and all. I do miss some of the "close" connections you establish with those frequent readers of blogs. Every now and then I pop in to read what everyone is up to. Right now I am at work, posting before I begin to do some serious work.
Till next time.

BACK TO POLITICS

George Bush supposedly does not read or pay attention to poll numbers.
Maybe he should. He is at a low 39% approval rating, while at the same time, only 2% of African Americans think he is doing a good job as president. On top of that, the looming resolution of the case which will find that in more ways than one, Rove and or the VP's office was involved in releasing the name of the covert CIA agent to the media. This undoubtedly, will lead to perhaps lower numbers in the polls for Bush. His only resolution is to fire whoever was involved in the leak, sooner than later. It wil be to his advantage.
I wonder if he's ever heard of Watergate.

ENGAGEMENT

The Spring Semester at UCLA was coming to an end. This was around May of 1995 and my birthday had just gone by with the required celebration. I was also studying for finals, so it was both a time full of stress and anticipation. We had always made it a point to really have fun on our birthdays and these were no exception. Hers was coming up and I had yet to buy her a present. I have always been a procrastinator and still am. I see myself more of the spontaneous type, but I was having difficulty figuring out what to get her nonetheless, I figured this would have to be a good present. We had been living together for about 3 years. I knew her parents and family well by now. We had also been to Mexico City where she met my Dad. Why just my dad and not my mom?, that is a story for another chapter.
It was time to pop the question. That, I decided would be a "good" birthday present. So after leaving school, I decided to drive by a flower shop and bought a bunch of roses. I also stopped by campanile Restaurant on La Brea and made reservations that evening. We had always wanted to go there, but had never made it a point of visiting. Probably it had to do because we lived on the other side of the city (Pasadena) and we did not have to drive far to go have fun or to eat out.

So now I have the flowers, a reservation, but no ring.
I went back to our apartment and went to a couple of jewelry stores that I had been "casing out". I knew I was going to marry her. She knew we were going to marry. It was a matter of just proposing and doing it. The time had come.
I was lucky enough to find a ring that was unique and as close to what I had in mind for her. I bought it, boxed it and took it home.
She could read excitement in my voice and face when she got home. I told her about our dinner reservation and we got ready.
Dinner went without a hitch, when we got to the restaurant, the roses had been nicely placed on the table. The staff were extremely professional since they knew what I was up to.
Finally desserts arrived. We had started diner with a couple of cocktails, had wine with diner and finished with champagne for her birthday celebration. We started dinner at about 7:00 P.M. It was about 10:00PM when I finally got on my knees and asked her to marry me.
She loved the ring, it fit her perfectly, she said yes and we were married the following year on June 29th.

BLOGS MEXICO

Ya estoy incluido en la bitacora Mexicana de Blogs Mexico
Muchos de los blogs que he leido y continuo leyendo los he encontrado en Blogs Mexico. Mi sitio es digamos Bilingue. Hay puntos que he escrito en Ingles y Espaniol. Otros son solo en Ingles (Para que practiquen su ingles aquellos "interesados", La mayoria de lo que escribo son experiencias personales, como tambien politicas. Hay veces que cuando no hay nada por escribir de todas maneras pondre algo quiza insignificante pero ahi esta. Para los que lo quieran leer.
Gracias por tu visita y dime quien eres.
SALUDOS!

For those wishing to improve on their Spanish, visit Blogs Mexico You will find of course, tons of blogs to browse through-Many interesting ones. Some that I read, I found there. Enjoy!

A slideshow of my favorites on Flickr

Una lista de mis fotos favoritas en Flickr. Ve a:
A slideshow of Cisco's favorites on Flickr Check out my "Favorite" pictures on Flickr!

OCTOBER

October is here along with the upcoming holidays, these days just seem to go a lot faster. Although it's still a bit warm here, I feel that the cold weather is just going to arrive all of a sudden. It will be a good thing; get the fire-places going, get out the blankets, sweaters and just bundle up. My daughter is already planning on being Catwoman for Halloween. I reminded her that when she was just about 5 months old, we put her into a "kitten" outfit.
Halloween is big here in America, very different from anywhere else in the world. I have also experienced -All saints Day- (Dia de los muertos in Mexico) in very traditional ways.



How do you celebrate?